Calling You to the Table

Chaos used to be the norm for me- honestly, I was so comfortable living within it that I did not know how to live without it or even that it was a problem in my life. No matter how much I claimed to want to lead a peaceful life, living in that chaos was almost an addiction, one that hid itself, dressed in a disguise. One where I could throw around the "victim" label with ease and throw all my power to the wind. Where I could focus all my energy on "fixing" or "rescuing" all the broken people I found around me- instead of looking inward healing all the parts of me that I didn't want to look at. I convinced myself that by serving others, I was healing myself. That wily coyote energy, the trickster, oh how it loved playing those tricks on me- just to see how long it could keep me going round and round in that same pattern. Submerged in judgement, submerged in the trick. Even in a state of awareness sometimes I can fall back into those tricks, but I come back much quicker, and hold a tremendous amount of compassion for the lessons I still need to learn, the deeper I can go with myself, the deeper I can go with others. That also means, the thought that by healing others I was healing myself- was backwards. As I heal myself, I heal others. 

We can't change things we are not aware of; I challenge you to think about a pattern you want to break free from.

​I call you to the table, the table of awareness.